Why is it this person who keeps you up at night, while others barely leave a trace?

Today, I want to share a different perspective on catching feelings — one that might help make sense of your emotions.

On the surface, falling hard for someone seems like infatuation. But often, what we’re drawn to isn’t just the person — it’s certain qualities they embody, and more importantly, how those qualities make us feel.

For example: If you’re crushing on someone who’s popular or confident, could it be because those are traits you secretly long for? When someone seen as “high value” shows interest in you, do you feel like your value has gone up too?

Or maybe what pulls you in is their warmth, the way they care. That feeling of being seen — of mattering — can be intoxicating. But why does that kind of attention feel so powerful?

It might be because it fills a gap inside you — a gap that’s been there for a while.
And that gap? It could come from your early experiences. Maybe you didn’t get enough attention growing up. Maybe you’ve always been searching for recognition, love, or proof that you’re worthy.

So when someone shows up and touches that unmet need — that’s when the spiral begins.

If you ever find yourself caught in the storm of a one-sided attachment, try this:
Take a quiet moment, grab a notebook, and just write. Don’t worry about grammar or making sense — imagine you’re talking to a friend. Let it all out. Ask yourself:

• What is it about this person that draws me in so deeply?
• Why do those traits matter so much to me?
• What am I really looking for in this connection?
• If they disappeared tomorrow, what would I miss most?

As you write, you might stumble across answers you didn’t expect. Patterns may emerge — recurring desires, old wounds resurfacing.

And that’s okay. You don’t need to fix anything right away. Just noticing your thoughts and emotions is healing in itself. It’s like untangling a ball of yarn — messy at first, but eventually, it all starts to make sense.

This isn’t a test. There are no right answers.
It’s simply a gentle conversation with the part of you that’s still searching for something — maybe love, maybe safety, maybe yourself.

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