Worried someone might be manipulating you? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I often feel overwhelmed or worthless because of something they said?
• Do I hide my true feelings just to avoid upsetting them?
• Do I feel like I have to prove myself to earn their approval?
• After spending time with them, do I feel energized — or completely drained?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you might be experiencing PUA-style emotional manipulation.

Common Tactics Used in PUA (Pick-Up Artist) Manipulation:

• Push-pull behavior: They criticize or withdraw from you (push), then offer affection or compliments (pull) to keep you off-balance.
• Blame shifting: Everything is somehow your fault.
• Creating dependency: They make you feel like you can’t succeed, be happy, or even survive without them.
• Verbal degradation: They put you down with comments like “Why are you so stupid?” or “You’ll never get this right.”

PUA tactics can show up in romantic relationships, friendships, families, and even the workplace.

How to Protect Yourself:

• Set boundaries: Learn to say “no” and protect your emotional space.
• Create distance: Limit contact with the manipulator and seek support from trusted friends or professionals if needed.
• Observe, don’t absorb: When they use push-pull or demeaning language, stay grounded and recognize their patterns instead of blaming yourself.

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